Tired of driving boring bland cars like Hondas, Toyota's and Hyundai's? Want to feel accomplished while driving to work? Step up and get a real high end vehicle for Hyundai pricing that will lay waste to most cars that dare line up with you, PICTURE THIS...you are sitting at a light, up pulls a snot nosed punk that think his Challenger is the top of the food chain that will effortlessly put down your Jaguar. Lightly blip the throttle the supercharger puts out a loud howling whine to warn its prey of the impending dominance it's ready to unleash with over 420hp on tap ready to punish the pavement as if it owes you money while the air conditioned seats cool your fecal factory keeping you swamp a$$ free!
Tap the touchscreen and fire up some Motley Crue Kickstart My Heart on the Bowers and Wilkins stereo ( a factory upgrade that cost more than a used Jetta) to get your adrenaline pumping, wrap your cold fingers around the heated steering wheel.
Light turns green and you rocket forward like a bullet from a sniper rifle and leaves that Challenger on the line like it was standing there wondering what the hell just happened, giving you that rush of adrenaline no cup of coffee will ever give you.
Make sure you're dressed up nice before you get in this car though, as you'll get attention and looks everywhere you go. Want attention from that hottie five cars over at the gas pump, standing there next to this will get you much more attention than if you bought a Prius. That guy in the Prius may get more mpg, but there is one thing it won't get.....There's a reason they named the Jaguar after a pussycat. Driving a car like this you're gonna get the nickname Trojan man.
If this ad offended you, punch yourself in the face and toughen up, it's satire wrapped in a car ad but I'm pretty sure if this ad offended you then a car like this is not for you. This is not a pansy machine...it's for the big ballers that want a taste of the good life one in which almost everything you touch on the interior is wrapped in leather, donned with wood trim, push button start, and air vents that rotate open and shut like a spaceship from the future.
There is an astounding amount of recent service records on this car getting it ready for it's next 100k miles of ear to ear grinning enjoyment. Only 39k miles on the newly installed engine (there's 180k on the body but that means nothing as there are thousands of dollars of recent restorative maintenance done to refresh this meticulously maintained beauty!)